The Monarchs' Song
The Monarchs' Song is a song from the ''Horrible Histories'' TV series. It aired in Series 3, Episode 2 on May 31, 2011, & later in the Savage Songs Special. In the song, the Kings & Queens of England sing a bit about themselves in an extra long song, with a list of every single monarch for the chorus, a challenge to learn it by heart! Lyrics 'William I: '''I’m William the Conqueror My enemies stood no chance. They call me the first English king Although I come from France. Ten Sixty Six, the Doomsday book I gave to history. So fat on death my body burst, But enough about me! To help remember all your kings I’ve come up with this song- A simple rhyming ditty For you all to sing along….Oh! William! (Bit short innit? We need more kings. Who came next?) '''Henry I: '''William second, cheeks were red- Killed out hunting, so it’s said. I took over, Henry one. '''William I: '''That’s my next eldest son. Then, King Stephen, it’s true, check it! '''Henry II: '''I, Henry two, killed Thomas Becket Richard Lionheart? That’s right! Always filing for a fight. Oh King John, what a disaster- Rule restrained by Magna Carta! William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! '''Henry II: '''Time for my mate, King Henry eight, To take up this song '''Henry VIII: '''Henry three built the abbey, Ed one hated Scots. A red-hot poker killed Ed two, That must have hurt him lots! Edward third was a chivalry nerd Began the hundred years war. '''Henry V: '''Then Richard two was king aged ten, Then Henry, yes one more. King Henry four, plots galore Not least from Henry five, ''Moi? I killed ten score at Agincourt Then Henry six arrived. 'Henry VIII: '''Edward four, Edward five, Richard the third, he’s bad. ‘Cause he fought wars with Henry seventh, First Tudor & my dad. So Henry eight, I was great Six wives, two were beheaded. Edward the sixth came next But he died young & so my dreaded Daughter Mary ruled, so scary, Then along came… '''Elizabeth I: '''me! I’m Liz the first, I had no kids So Tudors RIP... William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two Then three more Henrys join our song Edward, Edward, Rich the third Henry, Henry, Ed again Mary one, good Queen Bess '''Elizabeth I: '''That’s me, time for more men. James six of Scotland next As England’s James the first he led. Then Stuarts ruled, so Charles the first The one who lost his head! '''Charles II: '''No monarchy until came me- Charles two, I liked to party! King Jimmy two was scary, woooh, Then Mary was a smarty. She ruled with Bill, their shoes were filled By sourpuss Queen Anne Gloria, And so from then, you were ruled by men. '''Victoria: '‘Till along came me Victoria! William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two Then three more Henrys join our song Edward, Edward, Rich the third Henry, Henry, Ed again Mary one, good Queen Bess Jimmy, Charles & Charles & then Jim, Will, Mary, Anne Gloria '''Victoria: '''Still to come, it’s Queen Victoria! '''George IV: '''And so began the Hanover gang George one & George two (grim). '''Victoria: '''Then George the third was quite absurd '''George IV: '''Until I replaced old him! '''Victoria: '''King George the fourth & known henceforth As angry, fat & cross (hang on). It’s true you beat Napoleon, But for mostly a dead loss (bang on). Old William four was a sailor (ahoy!). It’s nearly the end of the story-a As onto the scene comes the best-loved queen- Hail to Queen Victoria! William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two Then three more Henrys join our song Edward, Edward, Rich the third Henry, Henry, Ed again Mary one, good Queen Bess Jimmy, Charles, & Charles & then Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria George, George, George, George Will, Victoria …Victoria…Victoria…Victoria… (I ruled for sixty-four years, you know.) Ed seven, George five, Then Ed, George sixth, ‘Liz two then reigned & how! And so our famous monarch song Is brought right up to now, oh…! William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two Then three more Henrys join our song Edward, Edward, Rich the third Henry, Henry, Ed again Mary one, good Queen Bess Jimmy, Charles, & Charles & then Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria George, George, George, George Will, Victoria Edward, George, Edward, George six And Queen Liz two completes the li-i-ist! That’s all the English Kings & Queens Since William first that there have been! (Ta da!) Cast *Simon Farnaby as William the Conqueror *Jim Howick as Henry II, Richard III, George IV *Laurence Rickard as Henry V, William II *Ben Willbond as Henry VIII *Martha Howe-Douglas as Elizabeth I, Queen Victoria *Mathew Baynton as Henry I, Charles II Notes Externa Links *The Monarchs' Song at Horrible Histories TV Category:Horrible Histories Category:Horrible Histories 2009-2011 TV Series Category:Series 3 of Horrible Histories 2009-2011 TV Series Category:Songs Category:Savage Songs Category:Ruthless Rulers (Sketches)